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I'm having pretty inconsistent results lately in my tennis matches and I'm just getting less focused on what I really want. Both ways I learned make sense.
What I learned when I was younger: ---------------------------------- - High percentage = wins. Don't miss, and you'll win. Simple. - Play all court like a chess game, but be a wizard about it. - Have superior movement and footwork. - Opponents should feel pressure from my "court presence" more than anything. i.e. they feel the match is very tight, but look at the scoreboard to see 1-6 0-3.
What I learned when I went to college (and on): ----------------------------------------------- - Attack first. Attack early. - Hit early. - Swing fast. Serve bombs. - Play an all-court, fast-paced, aggressive game. - Always hold serve. Look to break serve. (this is all very Sampras/Rafter-style)
These two vastly different modes of thinking is stirring in my head because I lost a match tonight with a bad showing 1-6 2-6. The scores are so lopsided. The match before, it went to a 5th set with me losing 1-6 in the fifth. The time before that, I won convincingly 6-1, 6-2 (if I remember right).
I don't know which set of beliefs to follow on court. My game drastically changes if I go from one mode to the other and I can feel it right away when I do change it. When I think attack, my game speeds up, suddenly points end at the drop of a dime. I'm very much into it. It feels very personal. I accept most instances of the match. When I lose a point, I accept that I've taken a gamble. When I fire a winner, I accept that I've taken a gamble (lol). I start thinking about how an attacking player like Federer or Henin plays and instantly my game takes on those characteristics. I like seeing the first attackable ball. I like swinging fast, I feel like I'm committing to my shots. It feels very Spartacus-like. Almost like an angry ass-kicking warrior who's just ready to throw down and take names.
When I think of percentage play a la Agassi or Nadal or Hingis, I find myself approaching the game more methodically, working more, thinking more... and naturally being more upset at mistakes. I enjoy the peace it gives me when I'm creating my own time to create beautiful shots. I see the rewards of hitting pinpoint shots, being artistic about playing, and masterminding people off the court and making them look a little out of sorts on court. The rewards and good feelings are definitely there, up in my crazy head.
Where do I go to find my niche? I do know for sure that if I do take on the percentage style play that I get so incredibly frustrated at myself when I start committing the smallest errors. I know that if I play attacking tennis, I'm more at ease when I miss points because I know I'm taking gambles. I know that when I play attacking tennis, my arm and finger starts to hurt after a while. There's a tradeoff here. I just don't know what to do.
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I had a scary dream last night... finally one that I could remember. It's weird. As I've gotten older I'm starting to remember dreams less and less. I'm not sure if I like this change.
The dream was about this cursed tv. I was invisible to the family that was watching the tv, as if I was some narrator. Every night, the mom, dad, and the son would be watching the tv in the living room after dinner. The weird thing was, every time they turned it on it would just be a reflection of them staring from the other side. At first, the reflection from the tv was exact... everyone would be sitting at the right place, they'd all be wearing the same clothes, and so on. But then, as the dream went on, the reflection from the tv grew more and more inconsistent. One night, the dad would be sitting on the wrong side of the couch in the reflection, but he'd be sitting in the middle in the living room. On another night, the son would be playing on the ground, at a different spot on the tv. Then, the living room in the reflection would be slightly off in color. Small small inconsistencies like that. Made my mind feel very unsettled.
At first it was just visual cues that were a bit off. Then, it became sounds, then distorted imagery. The ceiling fan would be on the slow setting in the living room, but on the fastest, loudest setting in the tv, and I could see the reflections' hair being blown hardcore. Anyway you get the point. The details just got more and more disturbing until it got violent. There was one night where the family was sitting there in the reflection, and then the ceiling fan broke off (making this huge crashing sound) and sliced the mom up in 4 places, blood splattering all over the room. The dad and son had no reaction. There was one night where the mom and dad were on the couch, and a big venus fly-trap like plant appeared behind them and swallowed them whole. The son kept playing with his train toy.
The most horrific one was the one that woke me up. The tv was normal. The reflections were all the same: everyone was looking at each other. The sounds were the same. The dream progressed in a way that I was expecting very wrong things to be happening. This one, I was led to believe things had gone back to normal. Then, as soon as I felt that, something pulled the son off the screen in the tv really fast towards the back of the room, and he screamed as he was pulled through a door and disappeared. He was gone in seconds. I looked at the parents in the reflection and their faces were glitched... the way computer games look when it glitches. I didn't know where their eyes were because they both looked like a picasso painting (but glitched). Then, as I was checking their faces, everything got really quiet and they both slowly turned to look at me.
And I woke up. o_O'
Needless to say, the imagery in the dream was so vivid that it's inspired me to make a tablet drawing of exactly what I saw on that last night. I remember everything of how that room looked, what the parents looked like, and how the son got dragged off. It's going to be a great picture.
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